It’s been a while since my last post, but tomorrow is my birthday.  I’ve been reflecting on this last year and I must admit, I am not where I thought I’d be at 27 years old.  Looking back over this last year, I’ve realized that I’ve made almost no momentum in anything towards my future.  That’s not to say this last year wasn’t good; in fact this last year was probably one of the best years of my life!  I went to New York for two months, studied acting, made amazing friends–even saw one come to Christ, it was great!  Apart from that, this last year was really just a great experience.  An experience that may or may not have any lasting value in building towards my future goals.  But isn’t that what life is? Just a collection of experiences?

The reason I bring all this up is well, I’m sure you’ve all heard of the old yiddish proverb “man makes plans, God laughs.”

I’ve had numerous plans over the last 6 years since moving to Washington only to see them fall to pieces, leaving me asking myself “what the hell am I doing with my life?”

That being said, I am not exactly discontent where I am at. I have a great job that I worked three years to get promoted to, I have great friends, a great living situation, so I’m not exactly lost without a paddle.  But what I’m asking myself is, where am I going?

I seem to meet people who know exactly what they want in life; they have a career they’re working towards, they’re making progress.  But me? I don’t know where I am going. I feel like a vagabond wondering around aimlessly looking for his destination.

I’m also reminded of the Proverb “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” (16:9) I firmly believe in this as well. I’m not one who gives to the way of thinking that I have to run every decision through God as if I’m walking a thin line having to get permission for every step I take.  God really does want us to make decisions for ourselves, He gives us boundaries not orders.

I do have goals and plans, but as those famous Rolling Stone’s lyrics states “you can’t always get what you want.” And I’m also not one who  buys into the whole “God has a wonderful plan for your life!” scenario either. And don’t even quote me Jeremiah 29:11, that verse was a promise for a certain people and a certain time, namely Israel.  I believe God does have a plan, but who am I to say it’s going to be wonderful?  What of our Christian brothers and sisters across the globe getting beaten and beheaded… what of their wonderful plan?  What if I die tomorrow?  What if I find out I have cancer?  What if I get in a car accident and am crippled the rest of my life?  These things happen to people every day, (yes Christians too!).

I’m not trying to be negative, I’m just trying to get back to reality and pull my head out of the clouds, where I feel so many Christians are right now, especially in America.  The church in America today has it easier than any other time in history, yet we complain so much (myself included), and we get offended at the stupidest things.

So all that being said, instead I should really be asking myself “what you got to complain about?”            Nothing. Literally nothing….

Well this blog really didn’t go the way I thought it was going to go when I started it.  Turns out we all just need to be content wherever we’re at.  This is probably the messiest blog I’ve written, my thoughts aren’t exactly organized… sorry about that.

Well, here’s to another year!  Let’s see what happens.